Cherney’s Life Story

My blog has moved, much like I have.  If you want to follow it, click the link below.

http://eugenetoperth.wordpress.com

Because I am turning a new page, I am starting a new blog.

Well, I am back in Eugene and things are pretty much the same as when I left.   I wasn’t expecting much to change, but deep down inside I was kind of hoping.  Work is the same, and I find the same enjoyment in it.  The town is warm and beautiful, and my friends rock.  Also, things are cheaper here.. and people are actually really friendly.  They are kind to runners,and bikers on the road.. and chat with you about random things.  American’s are probably one of the friendliest people I know, and will ever meet.

This week, while in Eugene.. I had three phone interviews with companies in Perth.  One has really good potential, and could lead to a job.  I heard back from 1 of the 2 universities.  Guess what? I was accepted into one!  Of course, it would be hella expensive to go.. to this one, or the other one… but it just feels right.  I am missing a certain part of education that I feel this will address.

In the process of doing this, I am going to leave my job.  Sell my car…  and pretty much everything else I own.  The hardest thing about doing all this is the loss of “credibility” you feel when you have it.  Maybe that is the wrong term, maybe it is pride.  Pride isn’t good.. but feeling successful is.  I know I am successful, yet not having a job.. car.. or pretty much any possession does make you feel like a poor useless bum.

I think back to the last time I didn’t have a job, and what it felt like.

It sucked.

Granted, I was 16 and I didn’t have much in the way of experience. Now I have a Bachelor’s degree, my first Masters Degree.  Now the problem will be that  I will be over qualified.  Shit, you really can’t win.. can you?

So, that’s about it.  I’m moving back to Perth at some point and going to school.  Hopefully sooner, with a job in hand.. otherwise it will be later and I’ll just be a student.

I don’t know the last time I have said it. .but I feel SO blessed to have SO MANY awesome friends.  I’m very lucky.  Thank you everyone.

The way back home kind of sucked.  I didn’t sleep for 48 hours!  When I did finally get to go bed, I don’t remember much after.  Just waking up.  lol..  But every night after that has been a struggle.  Last night was better.  I was waking up at 3am wide awake.  ick.

I’m ready to move on, and that feels good.  Moving on.. to a new place, and a new adventure.  Really, a new life path.  My past will always be a part of me, and I will use it for all my strength.  All of my new roots will not really connect with my old ones, and that is frightening.  I’m going to be completely on my own, save for the friends I have in Perth.  No family.. I’m going to miss them.  I am going to miss my friends here.  I am going to miss a lot of stuff, mainly the relationships.

Hmmm..

Well, that is the latest news from my end.  More to come later.

I watched an episode of “How I met your Mother” this evening.

As I have had a lot of time to think and reflect while I have been down under, some things I haven’t really be thinking about is my relationship status. Hard to believe really.  But, finally I have found peace in being single.

Investing in my future, moving to Australia..  gaining some new skills and truly beginning the next adventure.. the next step in my life.  I talk about page turners, it is time to start a new volume to my book of life.  Anywho, this post isn’t really about that.. I want to explore relationships because of this episode.

This character mentioned something, and I had to think that they were right.  Like them, I too have issues with dating.  I just don’t play the stupid shitty rules that so many people do.  I am a person who wears their heart on their sleeve.

I just can’t help but think about this.  If I am this way, there has to be someone of the opposite sex who thinks the same way?  Right?? There is got to be.  If I can see fiction discuss the same thoughts I have thought, then clearly others have had this thought too.  Now, I just need to get myself in that position for it to happen.

How am I going to make that happen?

I don’t know.

Here is what I do know.  I know that all I can do is be myself, and let the chips fall where they may.

There is comfort it the similarity, in stability.  God knows that there is.

I enjoy the life style and the life that I live in town, I really do.  I found peace with it.  But being back in Perth, I see a life that I crave that Eugene could never meet.  Not many places in the US can really match the life I could have here.  Being here, looking for work, hitting the pavement has been an eye opener.  The things I learned would have never been learned should I just tried in Eugene.  I gained a lot of experience, and hopefully it will carry over in other parts of my life.

The possibilities are endless here.  If I land the job that I want, I could be working in Perth.. London.. LA..  New York.. just about anywhere in the world.  My options are limited in that regard at my current town.

You know what is the scariest thing about leaving and heading over?  The lack of any “support” over here.  I have friends, but no family.  Friends are my family.  I’m taking the biggest risk in my life.  Selling my car, moving across the world.. becoming a student.. ending a stable job..  putting my life in a new position.  Can you imagine?

What the hell am I thinking?  It is something that seems SO crazy, yet the thought is so warming.  Scary, and exciting.  I have a firm education already, and I should be able to find work if I absolutely needed to in the US…  should it not work here. It just won’t be the same as it was.  It will never be the same if I leave and do this.

As I was looking at homes in Eugene, I really saw how limited my future would be at my job.  It works well for renting, and I could buy a house. I could do a lot of stuff, and travel. But let’s look 20 years down the line.  It isn’t where I want to be.  It doesn’t offer the potential that I know I can live up to.

Friends have told me that they expect big things out of my life.  I haven’t seen them, and I know they should be reached.  This is the step that enables this.

If I fail, if I succeed… at least I know I did something in my life that not many have done.  Went after a dream.

If I come back home with a tail between my legs, what am I going to do?

I think that this shouldn’t be considered, because failure isn’t an option.  I have learned that I plan 3 things at once.  And in the process of doing this, I am never putting 100% at any of them.   This is it.  This path deserves more than 100% and I need to make sure that I do it better than the next person.  I need to do it better, and smarter.  The cards are not in my favor, nor are they stacked against me.  They are balanced in chance, and me kicking ass.

2 years is a long time to be a student, and who knows what would happen in that amount of time.  I could be working and making an income where I don’t feel like i am a loser.  I could be jobless, or working as a waiter.  Struggling is the best word I can think of.  I don’t want to struggle to pay the bills, yet this is a very good possibility.  I am leaving no struggle for a challenge that could lead to my greatest happiness.

Why is it so hard?  why?

Accounting is about as stable of a profession I could pick.  It is also field where I know I could succeed anywhere in the states.  The skills I learn will be usefull.

Why don’t I feel like a strong employee with the MBA?  It is looked on highly, yet I don’t feel all that strong.  I wish I did.

Time for bed.

Relationships…  hmmm…  Work…  hmmmm… School.. . .  hmmm..  Moving…. hmmmmm…

My mind is made up, time is ticking.  Get accepted to the school.. get my finances in order, and plunge.

Dinner tonight was UNBELIEVABLE.  We had kangaroo roast.  :)  Yep, you read that correctly.  It was SO good, I can’t even begin to explain it.

Anywho, aside from a good dinner..  I had plenty of other good food today.

My job search here continues, though this weekend I am taking a break.  We are heading south for some “mountain” biking, and camping.  Not many mountains around here, it is more off road biking!  lol.  It is still tons of fun, and I am looking forward to it.

Aside from these plans, my next week is my last in Australia.  I am hoping and keeping my fingers crossed that I might be able to find a job and just stay, but with each passing day.. it looks more and more like this isn’t going to happen.  I will have to wait until I am able to start school.  The whole masters in accounting is looking more and more like it is going to be my only way of pulling this off.  It is a sad truth, I’m going to have to go back to school for one more degree..  Can I handle two years of school, again?

I mean shoot, I didn’t it once.  Who is to say that I couldn’t do it again?  I just know the endpoint is something I want.  I know that going to school again will give me the chance to learn the things  I didn’t get a chance to learn this last time.  Who would have thought, but I feel like I am missing something.

Actually, this makes a lot of sense.  Ever since I finished, it didn’t feel like I should have.  I know I missed out on some stuff, and this would be a good chance to do it over again.  I could really come out of this thing as a real winner.  Of course, should I do this route.. I don’t know what will happen if I don’t get a job in Australia.  I will have the tools and skills to be successful back in the states, but…  hmm…  do I really want to come back?

This next week should be fun, and I hope everything works out the way it should.  Have a good weekend everyone.

I’ve fallen in love, and it isn’t with a person.  Nope, it is with the down that I am living in.  I love Perth.  What an amazing city. Diversity is abound, and the people are awesome.  Why did it take so long to find a town that feels like home? Unlike my time in France, I am actually able to talk and communicate with people! :)   But all kidding aside, I love this place and I am having a blast.

Most people on vacation would be doing vacationish stuff.  Nope, not me.  I’m out each day looking for work, and applying to schools.  Yes, I said schools.  I am looking at getting a Masters in Accounting.   Crazy??  No, not so much.  Here is what I am thinking.  If I go to school here, my chances of getting job in the same town is pretty good.  I learned this little trick after my MBA.  Go figure.  All the jobs the UO offers is in the Eugene/Portland market.  This is not where I want to land.  Imagine getting the first job in the town you want? My applications are in at both big schools here.  Now it is the waiting game.

I have had SO much fun these last few weeks, it isn’t even funny.  I don’t want to come home. Things are SO much simpler over here.  Unless you are living it, it is kind of hard to explain.  Just imagine the US 50 years ago.  Then you start to get a feel of the town I am living in.  Sydney, Melbourne. and the others are not like this town.  It is special, much like a small country town with 1.4 million people.  I have meet several people, and funny enough.. they knew each other.  Small world, huh?

So here I am writing in mu blog for the first time in a very long time.

We did a 9 day camping trip up north.  We droving something like 5oook, or several thousand miles.  The distance from Seattle to LA, and then back again.  I saw some amazing country.  I was swimming under a water fall..  (more than one) I walked white sand beaches.. I climbed up cliffs.. and hiked into deep canyons. This trip was nothing like the other Aussie trips.  In addition to spending time with my good friend Simon, I got to hang out with my other Aussie friends.. I hadn’t seen them in SO long. I also made some new friends in the process.

I think over and over again.. will it be hard to make new friends here?  I don’t think it will be.  I have had the chance to talk to a lot of people these few weeks, and they have constantly  surprised me.  The people here are really nice. I must say though, Americans are pretty damn nice.  And to that.. the Aussie culture might not meet.  They are nice and friendly in a different way.  Hard to put into words.

I come back home on the 27 of July; this day is going to be hard to face. The only solace I have is the thought that I can come back soon.   This time with more clothes, a few more things, and for the most part.  Be better prepared.  I just have to wait for those letters of acceptance to the business schools.  Sure, if I land a job in the next two weeks then the decision is pretty easy.

The fact that I am able to talk to people and make new friends is nice.  But, I am really REALLY going to miss my friends back home. The bonds we have built over the years.. it will be hard to say good bye.  My friends at home have been my leaning block for SO long.. I can’t wait to give them a chance to show them around Australia.

My job.. there are a lot of good things about my job.  The kids, and staff.. aww… the kids and staff. It will be hard to say goodbye to them.

My family..  now this will be hard.  I really don’t care to write about this at this time.  I don’t want to cry.

The relationships I forge here will be new and different.  I will be Bob the American.  All the of the anchors that I have built in Eugene will be gone. I have to rebuild everything.   Goodbye to ALL.. and hello to something new and undefined. New and very different.  A hell of an adventure.

I am getting ready to head out, and man does it feel good.

A vacation is exactly what I need.  Really.

I admit, camping really isn’t my thing.. but the idea of camping where I am going to be camping.. and spending time with friends that I don’t get to see all that often is amazing.

It is hard to believe that I have stress in my life again, but it happened.  I was able to go roughly 2 months free of stress, and now it returns.

Having to look for a new place… kind of sucks.  As sick and twisted as it sounds, I do enjoy living with my parents.  It has down sides, but it also has a lot of perks.

My mind just runs wild and I think of endless options.  I wonder if I am going to be subject to these same mental triggers my whole life?  The best thing I can do is try to avoid them, I guess.

Had to believe that I used to be afraid of flying, yet here I am heading to Australia again.  It would be a lot of fun to head to France, or South Africa for winter break.  Traveling is SO much fun.

I find that if you meet someone who hasn’t traveled, they just don’t understand the appeal of it.  It is kind of addicting!

I’m feeling more tired than usual lately.  Maybe it is allergies?  I’m sure it is just stress.

Going overseas..  a moment to be away from Eugene.  Recharge the batteries.

Speaking of camping, today I bought another item for my trip.  It is like of like a sleeping pad for the ground.  I really don’t have much camping stuff.  That, a sleeping bag, and a head lamp.  I guess one piece at a time.

I’m happy to report that no stress from work, at the moment.  Knock on wood.  Thank goodness.

My last batch of interviews didn’t go so well. I guess that’s the way it goes sometimes. I’m sure it was for the best, and I have faith that it happened for a reason. I just wish I knew what that reason was. All I can do is take it one day at a time, and move forward.

I am thankful that I will be able to go to Australia again. It is only in 5 weeks or so. I’m rather excited to take a vacation. When I was in Seattle, it felt like vacation. Smelling the ocean air.. watching people, and being a tourist. I rather enjoyed it.

My office recently moved. Yeah, after 14 plus years of being in the same room, and area… I am now in a different part of the building. I kind of have mixed feelings about this; there are both good and bad things about this new change. If I embrace it and think about the good things, it isn’t all that bad. Being further away from the majority of my work kind of stinks. But there is no NO substitute for natural sunshine. I don’t think I have ever had a room that felt so open and fresh. I’m still getting used to it, but I’m sure in the long run things will be for the better.

It kind of revived my spirit at work. Finally something new and different. I’m sure it will be short lived, but at the moment it is kind of fun around the office again. Knock on couch. Hope it sticks this way until the school year ends.