Cherney’s Life Story

Okay, I had a moment the other day that was kind of weird.

Have you ever done something in your life, but you were embarrassed to talk about it to someone.  Well, maybe embarrassed isn’t the right word, more like. . . hesitant, as you don’t want this person judging you. There is a person in my life who’s opinion I value a great deal.  When I do something that I know they might not approve of, or would be disappointed in, I kind of hang my head low.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with living a life where you look up to someone.  It is good to have a guiding ’star’ if you ask me.  Sometimes looking at the decisions you make in your life (from the eyes of those look up to), your decisions don’t look as good.  Now, a good friend of mine told me that part of being an adult is making choices and living by them.  It is your life, and you need to do what is right for you.  Sometimes you are going to do things that others don’t agree with, and that is okay.

I think both pieces of advice are complementary to each other.  What type of life would you have if you do what others want and expect from you.  At the same time, how do you strive to be better if you no one to look up to?  It is a fine balance, and one that we must all deal with.

Needless to say, it was hard broaching the topic; but I did.

And you know the incredible thing?  Like a true mentor and friend, they didn’t judge me.  Again, another learning moment in my life.  They weren’t disappointed, or didn’t think anything less of me, they were supportive.

What was the point of this blog article to day?

I need to keep the course.  Doing those things that seem hard, really don’t need to be.  You will be surprised with what you will find when you challenge yourself.

No matter how hard something might seem to talk about, it is best to just get it on the table.

It is finally Friday and what a week it has been.

I think I have put more miles on my car that I probably should have.  I mean, seriously. .  it is SO much fun to drive.  Can you blame me?  Come on, really?  Coming from a Honda Accord. . ..  yeah.

This might be one of the reasons why I feel overwhelmed by my school work again.  Well, it is more of the  same really.  Just now the group work has been thrown into the equation.  I love school work, don’t get me wrong. . I can’t can’t stand group work. I don’t mind papers, but I don’t like term papers!  Dude, where the hell do they come up with this stuff?

I recieved my first pay check today with my reduced hours. . Holly Snickers.  It was a lot lower than I had otherwise thought.  I just go to live within my means, and it shouldn’t be a problem.  Yeah. . within my means.  My apartment takes up a huge chunk of my pay, yet I really don’t want to move.  I like this place.  It is clean, new, safe, and nice.  Just have to sacrifice some other stuff.  Like yummy meals.

The sun magically came out today. .  it was a pleasant surprise.

Well. . I guess I am going to end my blog for the day. .  I will write more tomorrow.

I am loving 3 Doors Down, right now.  One song in particular, “Let me be myself.”  I don’t know, can’t explain it. . I just like it.

. . . .

I guess I just got lost, Bein’ someone else
I tried to kill the pain, Nothin ever helped
I left myself behind, Somewhere along the way
Hopin to come back around, To find myself someday

Please, would you one time, Let me be myself
So I can shine with my own light, And let me be myself
For a while, if you don’t mind, Let me be myself
So I can shine with my own light, Let me be myself
. . . .

Yeah, I know I have a problem with iTunes. . I’m like a kid in the candy store when I get online.  It is hard to not walk away with something.  Well, I am not THAT bad but pretty close. :)  As I have written before, music kind of touches my soul.  So many songs touch on so many different emotions.

Last night was another night of endless homework.  I have a feeling that tonight will be the same.  It is way to early in the morning to be talking group work, but I have a funny feeling that I will be doing some this weekend.  The fog of my weekend will probably clear this afternoon.

Writing in the morning isn’t all that bad.  I just need to find the time to do it.

Some said to me yesterday. . “How do you manage to find so much to write about in your blog?”  The truth is, I really don’t know.  I guess they haven’t read it constantly, because if they did. . they would realize I just write ’stuff’.  I wonder if this blog has helped or hurt me with writing things for class.  I don’t have any trouble finding things to say in papers, and I can stretch an idea out for a while.  My concern would be quality of the papers.  Something I will need to look out for, I guess.

Got to go to work.  Have a good one.

It has been a few days since I last wrote in my blog, so I thought I had better get on and get caught up.

Sunday was an all day trip around the greater Oregon region.  I went to the coast, Woodburn, and Salem.  I had so much fun hanging out and just relaxing.  Sadly, I can’t do trips like that every weekend. . as I have way to much school work, but every now and then. . you just got to live.

I would like to say more about this trip, but I am going to keep my personal life just a little personal.  When I want to share the rest of the story, I will.

What I can say is that my new car has a tons of pep and zip.  Driving the Oregon coast was a blast!

Yesterday was not as much fun. . kind of let down really.  Well, when you go from a perfect day to a work day, what do you expect?

Work wasn’t enjoyable, so many things broke and went wrong.  Why do all the bad things happen at once?  It would be nice if they just happened over a progression of time.  Instead, everyone needs their problem fixed yesterday.  So it goes. . it is part of the job.  It took a couple of years to get to the point that I am at, but when I leave the office. .  I leave the office.  No longer do I worry in my head about what I might miss, or what needs to be done.  Having good student helpers does make a world of a difference.  I can rely on them when I am not around.

Class rocked my world yesterday too.  I am now part of several groups, which means the group projects have come into full swing.  I don’t really like group projects, so much time is wasted trying to figure out things.  My work load increased basically.  Now, I have my regular work. . plus group work.

At this point, I have learned that I can handle three class with work.  What I am starting to realize is that I don’t know if I can handle three classes with group work.  Way to many expectations on myself.  I will need to tell my group what my schedule is like, and ask them to assign jobs to me.  Will see how far that goes.

Have a good afternoon.

I don’t get how writing feels so therapeutic?   Why does writing my thoughts and ideas on a computer make me feel so much more relieved when I am finished?  It is like I have so much stuff on my mind and I just have to get it out.  It is almost like having a good friend, someone you can talk to and tell it everything and anything.  Of course, here you are reading it. . . . so it isn’t a private conversation.  It is more of a one way conversation.

Anyway.   Not much to say since I wrote yesterday expect that I had a good night of sleep last night.  I don’t remember the last time I slept until 8 in the morning.  Pretty crazy for me, actually.  Being the early bird that I am, it felt like part of my morning was wasted.

I should probably focus my attention on homework at this point. .  I wrote a paper this morning, and did a hell of lot of reading last night.  At this point, I have become good at skimming. . and finding an angle to write about.  I should probably look at some other stuff this afternoon, ick.

Oh, this morning I had brunch with one of my friends. .  we got to catch up with each other, which was really needed.  Being that he and his wife are so much older than me, they have a different perspective of things.  It was fun bouncing ideas between them, and hearing their response.  I need to make sure to not let months pass before I see them again.

Time to leave my digital notebook, and head to the paper books. .  Have a good Saturday everyone.

Adversity does not define who we are as an individual.  It is how we react to that adversity that does.

Have I written this before??

Anywho. . .   Today is Friday and thank goodness that it is.  This was a long week.

I would like to think that I have tons of homework to do, but I really don’t.  That has got to be the one thing that is tough about working ahead.  You get to a point, and you ask yourself. .  why do I want to work anymore??  I know that there is three things I want to do this weekend.  I am going to try and do all of them tonight and tomorrow.  Give myself a free day on Sunday.

I am going to have coffee with a really good friend tomorrow morning.  He and I haven’t spent a lot of time together over the years, it will be good to see him and his wife again.  We will probably look at Aussie photos, and talk about our lives.  When you haven’t spoken in months, there is lots of ground to cover.

I forget how many people read this blog. . .  I was talking to someone and they mentioned something that I hadn’t told them yet.  As cool as this is, it is kind of creepy.  It makes me wonder if I should be writing as much as I do.  Nothing I have written should come back to haunt me, but it is kind of funny that people know stuff about you. . and you know so little about them.

I sent out an invite for someone to come out to Oregon to visit today.  I don’t know if I have mentioned this in the past, but I have become good friends with my younger half brother.  It would be really cool to have him come check out Oregon.  I think he would really like it.  We have SO much to show and offer.  I’m thinking the only time that would really work for the both of us would be in August.  June could work, but our weather sucks then.  July I will be gone. .  I have a feeling that I only have a year or so left in this town, I would love to show it off. :)  It is a great city with plenty to offer and experience.

Not much else to report today.  I’m off to my favorite coffee shop tonight. .. got to get some reading done.  PT in the next half hour, and the gym.  What an exciting Friday night, someone hold me back!

Today was a promising day. .  I finally found a website that has accurate job listing information for positions in western australia.  The best part, many of the jobs I feel like I would be qualified for.  I also have also emailed several people who work in the industry that I am interested in.  They have given me help, suggestions, tips. . . and even said that they would hang on to my resume for me and keep an eye out.

All of this has promise. . lots of promise.

In someways, I need to seriously consider an internship down under. .  I would really like to go to Europe, but if I find a link or source and they have a potential opening. . I shouldn’t look away from it.

At work, they have decided to start numbering parking spots for staff members.  I had a pretty good spot, but I did a little negotiation and got an even better one.  I like the idea of having my own spot, now especially with the new car. . . My only question is, who is going to follow it?  If a parent comes and needs to park.. . why wouldn’t they just park where an opening is?  I don’t know. . it could be really cool if it works, silly if it doesn’t.  They are calling it a pilot. .

My class today was actually interesting. .  odd, this class is NEVER interesting.  We were missing half of the students, this might have been why.  Smaller classes have a different feel.  You actually get a chance to talk, if you want.

Shoot, it is getting late. . off to bed.

Night.